We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
