We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
