yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
