I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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