My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
