there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
