yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
