I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
