Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
