I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
