Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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