remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
