At least make sure they are 18
Why
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My bed smells like the plague
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