i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
