Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
