I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Are my feet made of real feet?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
