one two three fourrrrnication!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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