You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
