I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
