I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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