No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
