i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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