i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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