I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
