Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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