My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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