I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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