Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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