her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
