Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
