Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
