don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
