Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm too high and old for this...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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