At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Randomize
