If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
