I love black thongs
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
