I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
