Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
