in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
