I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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