...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
