So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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