we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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