He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
