have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
