What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm like, not good at living.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
