just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
