This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woke up backwards on a recliner
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
