my phone needs a breathalizer
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
