i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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