and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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